To get new results in our lives, we can’t just know what we want, and we get leverage on ourselves. We can be highly motivated to change, but if we keep doing it the same things running the same in appropriate patterns, our lives are not going to change, and all we’ll experience is more and more pain and frustration.
Have you ever seen a fly that’s trapped in a room? It immediately searches for the light, so it heads for the window, smacking itself against the glass again and again, sometimes for hours. Have you ever noticed people do this? They are highly motivated to change they have intense leverage. But all the motivation in the world won’t help if you try to get outside through a closed window. You have got to change your approach. The fly stands a chance only if it backs off and looks around for another exit.
If you and I run the same old pattern we are going to get the same old results. Record albums create the same sounds consistently because of their pattern, the continuous groove in which the sound is encoded. But what would happen if one day I picked up your record, took a needle, and scratched across it back and forth dozens of times? If I do this enough there’s a point when the pattern is so deeply interrupted that the record will never play the same way again. Likewise, just interrupting someone’s limiting pattern of behavior or emotion can completely change their life because sometimes it also creates leverage, and with these two steps alone you can change virtually anything.
How to break limited patterns of feeling and acting? Again, often it’s true that there interrupting a pattern enough times can change almost anyone. A simple way of breaking a pattern is by scrambling the sensations we link to our memories. The only reason we’re upset is that we are representing things in a certain way in our minds. For example, if you’re boss yells at you, and you mentally rerun that experience the rest of the day, picturing him or her yelling at you over and over again, then you’ll feel progressively worse. Why let the experience continue to affect you? Why not just take this record in your mind and scratch it so many times that you can’t experience those feelings anymore? Maybe you can make it funny!
Try this right now by doing the following: Think of a situation that makes you feel sad, frustrated, or angry. Now do the first step if you feel bad now about the situation, how do you want to be able to feel? Why do you want to feel that way? What’s been preventing you from feeling that way is the sensations you have linked to this situation. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could feel good about it? Now get some leverage on yourself. If you don’t change how you feel about this situation, how will you continue to feel? Pretty lousy, I will bet! Do you want to pay that price and continually carry around his negative sensations or upset you have toward this person or situation? If you were to change now, wouldn’t you feel better?
You’ve got enough leverage; now scramble to disempowering feelings until they no longer come up. After reading this take the following steps.
- See the situation in your mind that was bothering you so much. Picture it as a movie don’t feel upset about it just watch it one time seeing everything that happened.
- Take that same experience and turn it into a cartoon. Sit up in your chair with a big, silly grin on your face, breathing fully, and run the image backward as fast as you can so that you can see everything happening in reverse. If somebody said something, watch them swallow their words! Let the movie run backward in very fast motion, then run it forward again in even faster motion. Now change the colors of the images so that everybody’s face is rainbow colored. If there’s someone in particular who upsets you, cause their ears to grow very large like Mickey mouse’s and their nose to grow like Pinocchio’s.
Do this at least a dozen times, back and forth, sideways, scratching the record of your imaginary make a reminder speed and humor. Create some music as you do this. Maybe it’s your favorite song or maybe some type of cartoon music, linked these weird sounds to the old image there used to upset you. This will definitely change the sensations. Key to this whole process is the speed at which you play back the imagery and the level of humor and exaggeration you can link to it.
- Now think about the situation that was bothering you and notice how you feel now. If done effectively, you will easily have broken the pattern so many times due to find it difficult or impossible to get back into those that keep feelings. This can be done with things that have been bothering you for years. It’s often a much more effective approach then trying to analyze the ways and wherefores of a situation, which doesn’t change the sensations you link to the situation.
As simplistic as it seems, effectively scrambling a situation will work in most cases, even where trauma has been involved. Why does it work because all of our feelings are based on the images we focus on in our mind and the sounds and sensation when linked to those specific images? As we change the images and sounds, which change how we feel. Conditioning this again and again makes it difficult to get back into the old pattern.
One way of breaking the pattern is to just stop doing something go, “cold turkey.” If you stop running a pattern again and again the neutral pathway will gradually dissipate. Once a neural connection is made the brain will always have a pathway, but unless the pain is used, it becomes overgrown. Like anything else, if you don’t use it, you begin to lose it. Now that you have broken the pattern that has been hurting you back, you now have the open space to……
- To create a new empowering alternative in fact that behavior by most people to find an alternative way of getting out of pain and into the feelings of pleasure is the major reason most people’s attempt at change are only temporary. Many people get to the point where they have to change, where change is a must, because they link so much pain to their old pattern and they link pleasure to the idea of changing. They even interrupt their patterns. But after that, they have nothing to replace the old pattern!
Remember, all of your neurological patterns are designed to help you get out of pain and into pleasure. These patterns are well established and while they may have negative side effects if you have learned that a habit can get you out of pain you will go back to it again and again since you have found no better way to get the feelings you desire.
If you are following each one of these steps you have gotten clear about what we wanted and what was preventing you from getting it, you have gotten leverage on yourself, you have interrupted the pattern, and now you need to fill the gap with a new set of choices that will give you the same pleasurable feelings without that active side effects once you quit smoking, you must come up with a new way, or a lot of new ways should place whatever benefits you used to get from the old behavior; the benefits of the old feelings or behaviors must be preserved by the new behaviors or feelings while eliminating the side effects. What can you replace worry with? How about massive action a plan you have for meeting your goals? Depression can be replaced with their focus on how to help others who are in need.
If you are not secure how to get yourself out of pain and to feel pleasure as a replacement to your smoking, drinking, burning, or other undesirable emotion or behavior, you can simplify find the answers by modeling people who have turned things around for themselves. Find people who have made the lasting changes; I guarantee you’ll find that they had an alternative to replace the old behavior.
Often if we just break our old patterns enough our brains will automatically search for a replacement pattern to give us the feelings we desire. This is why people who finally break the pattern of smoking sometimes gain weight: there brains look for a new way to create the same kinds of pleasurable feelings, and now they eat mass quantities of food to get them. The key, then is for us to consciously choose the new behaviors or feelings with which we are going to replace the old ones.
- Conditioning is the way to make sure that if change you create is consistent and lasts long-term. The simplest way to condition something is simply to rehearse it again and again until a neurological way is created if you find an empowering alternative, imagine doing it until you see that it can get you out of pain and into pleasure quickly. Your brain will begin to associate this as a new way of producing this result on a consistent basis. If you don’t do this, you will go back to the old pattern.
If you rehearse the new, empowering alternative again and again with the tremendous emotional intensity, you’ll crave out a pathway and with even more repetition and emotion, it will become a highway to this new way of achieving results and it will become a part of your habitual behavior. Remember, your brain can’t tell the difference between something give Italy imagined and something you vividly imagine, and something actually experience. Conditioning ensures that you automatically travel along the new route, that if you spot one of the “off ramps” you used to take all the time, now you just speed past them___ in fact, they actually become difficult to take.
The power of conditioning can’t be overestimated.
“There is nothing training cannot do nothing is above its reach it can return bad morals to good it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones it can lift men to angelship”.
The first organizing when you see for the up and it type of “Success Conditioning” is the power of reinforcement. You and I must note that in order to get ourselves to consistently produce any behavior or emotion, we must create a conditioned pattern. all patterns are the result of enforcement; specifically, the key to creating consistency in our emotion and behaviors is conditioning.